Venezuela And You: Perfect Together

When eventual Democratic Party Presidential nominee Bernie Sanders isn’t writing rape-pr0n, encouraging little kids to touch other kids’ pink parts, or changing his Depends, he’s lecturing Americans about how great life is… in Venezuela?

Democratic 2020 candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders in 2011 promoted an editorial arguing that “the American dream is more apt to be realized” in Venezuela than in the U.S.

“These days, the American dream is more apt to be realized in South America, in places such as Ecuador, Venezuela and Argentina, where incomes are actually more equal today than they are in the land of Horatio Alger,” the editorial stated. “Who’s the banana republic now?”

And yet, Bernie Sanders lives in America. Interesting.

By the way, the photo above is from last year, when a Venezuelan National Guard vehicle drove over a protester and continued on its way. Sounds like a place I’d like to raise my children, amirite?

Sanders has faced criticism — including from fellow Democrats — for his sympathetic opinions of communist regimes.

Um, maybe that’s because Bernie Sanders is an actual communist?

The socialist Vermont senator’s repeated defenses of deceased Cuban dictator Fidel Castro sparked a backlash from both Republicans and Democrats.

I cannot fathom how this clown has garnered so much support in the United States of America, but I am certain Sanders will win the nomination. Do not underestimate this lunatic and his rabid followers. Do not stay home in November.

Caption Contest Winners

The East Bound And Down Caption Contest is now over.

Top Five Entries:
5. Ocasio-Cortez puts her “New Green Deal” into action! – William
4. What is sadly known as a Maduro Speed Bump. – Jim
3. An artist’s conception of the reelection of President Trump. – Barry D.
2. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle.. – Sully

WINNER! – Now that is how you treat ANTIFA scum. – Cathy

Weekend Caption Contest

East Bound And Down Caption Contest
(Source: Reuters)

Caption this photo in the comments section. The winners will be posted on Monday, May 6th.

Original Caption: An opposition demonstrator is struck by a Venezuelan National Guard vehicle on a street near the Generalisimo Francisco de Miranda Airbase “La Carlota” in Caracas, Venezuela. REUTERS/Ueslei Marcelino

Russian Troops Land In Venezuela

Good news, everyone! Russian forces landed in Venezuela this weekend, adding muscle to dictator Nicolás Maduro’s regime.

Two Russian Air Force reportedly planes landed in Venezuela’s main airport on Saturday carrying a Russian defence official and around 100 troops.

One flight tracking website shows two aircraft left a Russian military base for the Venezuelan capital Caracas on Friday, with a further jet leaving on Sunday.

The arrival of the military jets was confirmed by Javier Mayorca, an independent journalist, who said an Antonov-124 cargo plane and a smaller jet touched down late on Saturday. He said approximately 100 soldiers – led by General Vasily Tonkoshkurov, who is head of the Mobilization Directorate of Russia’s armed forces – was also seen, as well as 35 tons of equipment.

Venezuela may be on the brink of civil war, and the insertion of Russian troops makes the matter much worse. Here’s hoping the president stays out of this conflict, and allows Venezuela to solve their own problems.

Everywhere Hugo, They’re Out Of Condoms

Venezuela, the late Hugo Chavez’s socialist worker’s paradise, is in the midst of a crippling depression. People cannot find food, clothing, or any other necessary goods in stores… especially contraceptives.

Yorlenis Gutierrez, a 28-year-old mother, spent months vainly scouring pharmacies for a drug whose scarcity is complicating her sex life and that of countless Venezuelans. In a country beset by shortages, this is one of the hardest: the disappearance of contraceptives.

When she couldn’t renew her supply of birth control pills, Gutierrez and her husband made a choice. Long-term abstinence was not an option, they agreed. They tried to be careful, but soon she was pregnant with her second child.

Here comes the money shot…

In Venezuela, a collapse in oil prices coupled with nearly two decades of socialist policies has sparked a severe recession and one of the world’s highest inflation rates. People often wait hours in line to buy bread. Prices for staples jump almost by the day. Medical shortages range from antibiotics to cancer drugs.

That last paragraph is stunning; not because of its truthfulness, but because it was published by a writer for the Washington Post. I sincerely doubt the writer believes socialism is a bad thing, but simply typing the sentence is a remarkable breakthrough.

Venezuela Crushes Attempted Rebellion

Venezuela, the socialist paradise admired by Democrats and Hollywood – but I repeat myself – crushed an attempted coup Sunday as a group of soldiers attacked a Paramacay base in Valencia.

Venezuelan authorities suppressed a small rebellion at a military base Sunday, arresting seven men who they say participated in a “terrorist attack” against the government of unpopular leftist President Nicolas Maduro.

A video circulated on social media showing a group of men in military uniform announcing an uprising in the wake of the creation of a pro-government legislative superbody on Friday, which was widely condemned as a power grab.

Hundreds took to the streets in Valencia to support the uprising, said resident Carolina Herrera, who like other witnesses reported shots through the night. But hooded protesters had been largely dispelled with tear gas by midday on Sunday, and the rest of the South American country of 30 million appeared to be calm.

Maduro sees himself as the next iron man of Venezuela, and the country is on the verge of civil war. Somewhere on a Hawaiian beach, Barack Obama is shedding a tear.