Feel-Good Friday

Meet Timothy Harrison (left) and his Waffle House manager Cedric Hampton. Timothy was all set to attend his high school graduation when he was presented with a few snags. Thankfully, Timothy has a great manager and coworkers.

Timothy Harrison of Center Point, Alabama planned to attend his high school graduation. He’d even cleared it with his boss to take time off. But when the day of the ceremony dawned, Harrison found himself stranded.

The event was being held an hour away from home. With his family members working and no one able to drive him there, much to the surprise of his manager, Cedric Hampton, Harrison showed up for his regular 7 a.m. shift at the local Waffle House.

Once Hampton heard the details of Harrison’s dilemma—not only didn’t he have a way to get to the graduation, but he’d missed out on picking up his ticket, cap, and gown—the quick-thinking manager immediately marshaled his Waffle House troops for action.

After being ferried to school to retrieve his cap and gown, back at the Waffle House, the elated senior was outfitted in a brand-new ensemble picked up and paid for by his coworkers (with a little help from some generous restaurant patrons).

“When I sat down in that auditorium it was the best moment of my life,” Harrison told WBRC News. “This is a memory I will cherish forever… I’m going to tell my kids about this.”

Southern hospitality is not dead, my friends, and Cedric Hampton is a genuine hero.

Look Everyone, It’s Peter Pantsless!

Meet Wesley Glenn Bost of Alabama.

Wesley loves him some waffles, but his preferred method of ordering them is somewhat… odd.

Police say they are looking for a man who fell through the ceiling of a Waffle House restaurant in Tuscumbia Sunday morning.

Video of the incident shows the ceiling of the restaurant bulge outward before giving way and a man falling through. The man then shoves customers as he makes his way toward the door, which is being held by people on the other side.

The video cuts off as the man grabs a chair, hits the door with his shoulder and falls to the floor. Tuscumbia police said the suspect, Wesley Glenn Bost of Birmingham, got away after a brief chase.

Pantless, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Who Wants Chicken And Waffles?

Lancaster, Pennsylvania is a quaint little city whose claim to fame is milk, pretzels, and the Amish. Like most rural towns, Lancaster has a kickass Waffle House… and by that I mean you can get your ass kicked there.

The brawl Sunday at the restaurant in Lancaster pitted members of one family against three other women. In addition to hair pulling and haymakers, some of the suspects threw utensils and other items snatched off tables. Manheim Township police collared the quintet of brawlers for disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor.

Cops identified the defendants as Deborah Shivers, 56; Tyneisha Shivers, 37; Latonia Shivers, 31; and Mercedes Shivers, 25, (each of whom lives in nearby Reading). The fifth woman, Tonisha Shivers, 37, resides in Dallas, Texas.

This family obviously had a few bones to pick, but I’m sure they will eventually iron out their problems.

Who Wants (Jerked) Chicken And Waffles?

Bashir Rasheed Naked Waffle House

A Georgia man carried out a different kind of terror attack at his local Waffle House last week.

Bashir Rasheed, 36, was arrested after he drove his BMW to a Waffle House in Sandy Springs, got out of the car and tried to enter the restaurant sans clothes.

Witnesses told police that Rasheed began stroking his penis after exiting his car and walked up to the entrance where he allegedly pressed his sex organ against the glass entry door.

In fairness, the penis was just trying to place an order for scrambled eggs.

Officers said the suspect grabbed himself and began to urinate while they were still talking, according to the arrest report.

Oh please, who among us has not used our Kielbasa of Mass Destruction in public? Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a cup of pee.