So Much For The Hilarity

The Illegitimate President’s illegitimate administration has decided they will not allow Slow Joe to throw out the first pitch during the Washington National’s season opener. Imagine all the laughs we could have had seeing this senile fool throwing a baseball at the mascot.

Chelsea Janes, national baseball reporter for the Washington Post, first reported the news.

“President Biden will not be throwing out the first pitch at Opening Day at Nationals Park Thursday,” Janes wrote on Twitter. “When asked, Nats confirmed he will not throw out the first pitch, but a spokeswoman said ‘We look forward to welcoming President Biden to Nationals Park in the future.’”

Yeah, he can wander around the stadium asking people if they would like their hair sniffed.

Name Your Bryce

This story is from Wednesday morning, but it made me so happy, I wanted to post about it here. Bryce Harper, the overpaid, overrated baseball star, left the Washington Nationals and signed with the Philadelphia Phillies during the offseason. Harper had a mediocre year, while his former team, uh, didn’t.

The Washington Nationals and Bryce Harper both celebrating on Wednesday. For Harper, it’s his 27th birthday and for the Nats, they relished in the moment of clinching their first-ever trip to the World Series.

This past offseason, Harper sent shockwaves through the league when he left the Nationals and signed a $330 million contract with division-foe Philadelphia Phillies.

After the Nationals’ pennant-clinching win Tuesday night, many wasted no time taking to social media to troll Harper and even brought up the superstar’s blunder during his introductory press conference with the Phillies in March when he said he couldn’t wait to “bring a title back to D.C.”

Phillies fans are about as despicable as Eagles fans, so my smile is from ear to ear.

Now, most of you know I’m an Orioles and Yankees fan, so if New York goes to the series, I’m obviously cheering for them. That said, I think the Nationals fans’ trolling of this epic douchebag is beautiful, and it’s made even more delicious on Harper’s birthday!