Wow, What An Ass

Meet Dustin Burnett of Wichita, Kansas. Dustin is an inmate at the Sedgwick County Jail, and he really didn’t want to be there. So, Dustin used his noodle to escape with a rather unusual method.

Dustin Burnett, 22, was arrested and charged with two counts of official misconduct after officials say he saw inmates break the window and get the contraband but did not stop it or tell anyone. The sheriff says the former detention deputy did not give the whole story when investigators confronted him.

The inmate who broke the window that was used for smuggling contraband into the jail did so by “lighting hemorrhoid cream on fire and melting the plastic in the window.”

Of all the ways to escape a jail, I never heard someone using hemorrhoid creme.

According to the affidavit, it took the inmate approximately three and a half hours to get the hole in the window. The inmate said he came into the cell with a drain pipe from a sink, held the flame to the window, and used the pipe and a food tray to punch a hole through the softened window.

So this guy is smart enough to burn a hole in the jail cell’s window, but not smart enough to not get caught. Kudos, Dustin, kudos!

Kansas Store Steps Up Against Tyranny

A Wichita, Kansas liquor store has banned Russian vodka from their shelves after Putin’s invasion of Ukraine. The owner claimed it is their “tiny sanction” against the Soviets.

Jamie Stratton, partner of the Jacob Liquor Exchange, confirmed Friday that its store on 29th and Rock Road in Wichita, Kan., had removed more than 100 bottles of Russian vodka between its shelves and display. He explained that they decided they did not want any presence of the Russian product in its store and referred to it as a “tiny sanction.”

In my opinion, any sanction, no matter how big or how small is worthy of recognition.

He said that the retail value of Russian vodka pulled from the store altogether was $4,300. Stratton explained that they were not promoting or marketing the Russian vodka, and that they did plan on making the Ukrainian vodka in their store, one brand called Khor, more prominent.

“Bye bye Russian Vodka you are not worthy of a space on our shelf!” the store said in a Facebook post on Friday.

Yes, this is a small gesture, but hopefully it will catch on in other cities and countries. Ruin the Soviet economy, one ruble at a time.