NYC To NYPD: Drop Dead

Anyone who has read my True Detective Stories know I am no special pleader for police officers. That said, when an actual injustice is levied upon officers trying to do their job, I like to be one of the first people to call out the despicable government drones. In this case, it would be cop-hating NYC Health Commissioner Dr. Oxiris Barbot.

New York City Health Commissioner Dr. Oxiris Barbot blew off the NYPD’s desperate plea for more masks as coronavirus cases were on the rise.

NYPD Chief of Department Terence Monahan requested 500,000 surgical masks for his officers in late March. Barbot, claiming she needed the masks for others, told him, “I don’t give two rats’ asses about your cops.”

Now if I worked for the NYPD, I would put Barbot’s residence on my “Do Not Respond” list.

Barbot said that she could only provide the police department with 50,000 masks, but as New York City quickly became a hot zone, it became clear that was not going to be enough. By the end of the first week in April, nearly 20% of the police department was out sick with coronavirus symptoms.

Monahan, likely after cursing out this bitch, contacted the White House and asked for help. The evil President Trump denied their plea because he’s a Russian stooge.

Nah, the Trump administration flooded the NYPD with protective gear in a mere sixteen hours after the request was made. I mean, you all heard about that on the evening news, right? Right??

True Detective Stories

In the last few weeks, the department has released numerous directives and policies regarding the Wuhan virus. First, detectives were to work twelve-hour days, with two days on and two days off. A week later, we were told we will be working four-hour days with less people to decrease the chances of contagion.

Yesterday, we were told all personnel would be mandated to wear a mask while on duty… four weeks after the Wuhan virus became a pandemic.

The city is nothing if not timely.

The department distributed our first “masks” Tuesday, and they literally resembled bikini bottoms. We asked our female detective to try it on, but she declined, while flipping us the bird. How rude!

Yesterday we received masks which were slightly better, but these looked like maxi pads. They’re thin, uncomfortable, and to be honest, don’t seem to be doing their job. But, an order is an order, and since the city wanted to save a few dollars, we will not be issued the N95 masks – or even a lesser equivalent.

So I stand by my prediction that many people in my division – me included – will eventually contract the virus, because in my department, a person is not an employee; he or she is simply a number.

True Detective Stories

Whenever it seems I cannot find a suitable post for the blog, I am always inspired by the dullards, morons, and mouth breathers who populate/pollute my department.

Late Thursday night, two officers came to the division to drop off paperwork. The Wuhan virus protocols are still in effect, so they have to pass all paperwork through the window and into my waiting hands. (So eventually I’m getting this damned super-flu.)

I look up at them, and my jaw immediately dropped. These two jackasses were wearing medical masks, but instead of the plain white or the baby blue, these assclowns were wearing sports masks. One had the Philadelphia Flyers logo on it, and the other had the Philadelphia Eagles logo on it.

Very professional, gentlemen; I’m sure you’re the pride of your district.